The Gaze of Love

“If looks could kill!” We have all heard this idiom, maybe we have used ourselves in conversation, and perhaps we have even been on the receiving end of such a look. I am acquainted with the message this phrase communicates – anger! It is one of those looks that require no words for there to be a mutual understanding – message received – loud and clear. 

How have others looked upon you? It is surprising how many words a simple facial expression can communicate. How the flash of one’s eyes can “say it all.” Perhaps your first thoughts jump to a time when you received the gift of a loving, joyful, or compassionate glance, and your heart sings a song of being accepted and cherished. Or maybe you have a clear memory of being looked upon with anger, judgment, or contempt, and you can easily recall the defensiveness this stirred inside your heart. The variety of “looks” we can receive in a day is endless: lust, suspicion, impatience, fear, excitement, indifference, etc. If we encounter these looks too often, they can begin to define how we think others and the world see us. “I am a disappointment.” “I am rejected.” “I am loved.” “I am accepted.”

So, this begs the question, how do we look at others? What do my eyes and facial expressions reveal about how I am thinking, feeling, or experiencing the people around me? It would seem that human beings have struggled with their faces sharing their thoughts for quite some time. We can find references regarding the concept of our eyes revealing our thoughts in the Books of the Bible. Proverbs 30:17 states, “The eye that mocks a father, or scorns the homage due a mother, will be plucked out by brook ravens; devoured by a brood of vultures.” Later, in Matthew 6:22-23, Jesus reiterates, “The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light; but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness. And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be.” I have not escaped this human struggle as my face reads like an open book to my thoughts and emotions! I am grateful for this trait when I effectively communicate my joy, compassion, love, and empathy, but I am less pleased when judgment or criticism flashes across my face. My initial solution? I need a better poker face! Unfortunately, this does not solve the deeper issue. The issue? My facial expressions and eyes are disclosing to others the size of my heart – my ability to love. Therefore, I need my heart expanded and filled with love. Then, that abundance of love will be visible on my face and through my eyes. I want others to hear from my eyes, “I see you, you are loved, and I accept you.”

We can only give what we have received. So from whom do we receive this “heart-expanding love?” We can only receive this love from God because “God is love” (1 John 4:16). 

But, how does Love (God) gaze upon us? Do you think He looks on us with contempt, disappointment, or judgment? The Gospels provide us with the answer to this question. For instance, in the Gospel of Matthew (14:14), we receive a glimpse into how God looks upon us, “When he [Jesus] disembarked and saw the vast crowd, his heart was moved with pity for them, and he cured their sick.” Pity can sound like a negative term, so to clarify, a few synonyms for the word pity are understanding, mercy, and compassion. Therefore, the Son of God, Jesus, looked at the crowd – with compassion, love, mercy, and understanding. His eyes reveal His acceptance and love for us. We are His beloved and chosen daughters and sons – we belong to Him. 

When we know we are loved and belong – our hearts can open and expand to receive His love. Then, when our hearts are full of His love, we can begin to love others the same way. We can see the uniqueness and beauty of each person. We recognize their gifts and talents, as well as their shortcomings and faults, and we embrace them – we love them. We know they are just as precious and treasured as we are to the Father.

When time permits, join me in closing your eyes. Be still. Lower your shoulders, take a deep breath, and as you slowly exhale; allow the Holy Spirit to bring you into the presence of your Heavenly Father. Once there, let Him look at you, let Him love you. Take your time. Allow Him to remind you who you are to Him. How does He see you? Does He speak to your heart in a way only your Creator could? Can you let Him fill your heart with a love you cannot wait to share with the world? 

We should return to His loving gaze often. When we do, He will continue to expand our hearts and drive out judgment, pride, lust, and other painful ways we look upon one another. Our Father will fill that space with compassion, peace, joy, understanding, patience, and love. Then we won’t need a better poker face – for we will be reflecting the gaze, the love of God.