Letting Go and Loving

From love, we can see ourselves as human, imperfect, and beautiful. From love, we can cut everyone, including ourselves, a little slack.

A friend recently asked me how my Sunday night anxiety was going? I paused and smiled. I realized it was gone, and for the first time in decades, I can sleep all night! What is Sunday night anxiety? It goes a little something like this… 

The clock. There it is telling me it is way too early to be awake, yet there I am, wide awake and worried. It robs me of my precious sleep and my inner peace. The anticipation of the week ahead puts my brain into action. How will we get to all of our activities, find time to make meals, spend time with friends and family, pay the bills, clean the house, grocery shop, volunteer, and attend meetings? The downward spiral accelerates into the rabbit hole of exhaustion. Always so much to do. And before you know it, it is time to get up and start the race.

Sound familiar? This course of living is unsustainable, and truth be told, it is not living. It is surviving. Barely. For me, this way of life ceased to be survivable. Something had to change. 

Two gifts came into my life about the time when I realized I could not keep all the plates spinning. The first gift I received was a skilled therapist. She provided me simple tools to encourage healthy sleep. One game-changer – get rid of that clock! The adjustments she recommended began to significantly improve my sleep patterns and the amount of rest I received each night. I will be forever grateful for the explanation of sleep drive and how I was ruining it with my cat naps. I am sure I have the graphs somewhere around the house if you want a quick lesson!

The other gift? Eucharistic Adoration. My weekly hour spent with Jesus was the first time that I sat, uninterrupted, meditating on His words and His love. During my hour with Jesus, I try and focus on a short scripture passage in an attempt to discern what I can learn, receive, and apply to my life.

Recently, I’ve been captivated by Luke 10:38-42. In this gospel passage, Martha is busying herself to prepare a meal for Jesus while her sister Mary sits at his feet. Mary is listening to him speak, receiving his love and goodness. Martha complains to Jesus, telling him to make Mary help her. Jesus responds, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.” I love this passage because I can see myself in both Martha and Mary. Martha is doing good, preparing a meal for her guests. She’s anxious about the meal timing, preparing and cooking the meal, setting the table, tidying up the house, and trying to make sure all her guests feel welcomed. I would be so irritated if my sister were sitting there, not helping! And yet, it is Mary who I aspire to be. Her ability to be present to our Lord, surrender her worry, and her desire to receive his love – Beautiful. She is teaching me to leave my burdens at His feet. If Mary were here today, I think the song, Nothing Else by Cody Carnes would fully express her heart. She is caught up in a Holy Moment.

I’m caught up in Your presence 

I just want to sit here at Your feet 

I’m caught up in this holy moment 

I never want to leave

Cody Carnes, Nothing Else

When we get caught up in a Holy Moment, we can start to let go of worry and begin to live in love. We can experience these Holy Moments with those around us. In his book, The Biggest Lie in Christianity, Matthew Kelly challenges us to make Holy Moments every day. When I read his book, I struggled to find these opportunities until I applied the love I found in Jesus. The occasions for Holy Moments might look a little like these examples, but the possibilities are endless. Perhaps we leave our cell phone in the car on date night, or we make sure we have dinner with our spouse and kids at least one night a week. Maybe you have a hobby or passion you can share with a child. Perhaps we listen and cry with a friend when they share how the weight of the world is crushing them. What if we treated every human interaction as a Holy Moment? We can do this by being present and bringing our love.

In the end, what does worry accomplish? Look back over the last month, this past week, or just today and reflect on the issues that have caused you to worry. How did the worry change the situation? What does the anxiety cost you? Sleep? Your health? Productivity at work? If agonizing about these situations does not change them, what can? Mary has the answer for us. The love of Jesus. Our love. Love is the driving force of change. From love, we can find patience for our children and ease their anxiety and stress. From love, we can begin to see our to-do list as actions of love for the people and organizations we care for, not items to check off. From love, we can see ourselves as human, imperfect, and beautiful. From love, we can cut everyone, including ourselves, a little slack. What is God asking you to let go of so you too can live in love?

This New Soul

Although time-consuming and tedious, the act of restoring love, acceptance, gratitude, and patience not only for ourselves, but for those who walk through life with us is worth every ounce of our energy.

Who remembers the PBS show, This Old House? This show launched an entire genre in the entertainment industry for home improvement television. The host, Norm Abram, was meticulous, knowledgeable, and enthusiastic about sharing his talent for restoring old homes to their original beauty. Wikipedia describes Norm Abram as a master carpenter. He always did his research, he was not afraid to get his hands dirty, and each project was a labor of love. A little closer to home, my friend Sandy and her husband took on the respectful renovation of their turn of the century Victorian home. A project that took them 20 years to finish. Each time I drive by their home, I am amazed at their patience, skill, and devotion to such an enormous undertaking. It reminds me of another master carpenter that seeks to restore something more precious than a home. He desires to restore my soul. Jesus, the master carpenter, wants to help us in our respectful renovation – from the inside out.

In green pastures

he makes me lie down;

to still waters

he leads me;

he restores my soul.

Psalm 23: 2-3

As the pinnacle of creation, God made us in His likeness and image. Each of us has a beauty and a goodness that longs to shine. Unfortunately, life circumstances, past hurts, sin, and exhaustion can tarnish that beauty and dull the goodness. Psalm 23 v 2-3, states it is in green pastures and beside still waters that God restores our souls. These verses elicit images of rest, calm, and peace. If I use my imagination, I can smell the fresh air, hear the gentle flow of the creek, and feel the presence of Jesus. In this situation, I am choosing to rest in the Lord, to let Him gently renew my spirit, and recharge my battery. However, the true definition of restore is a much more active process. Mirriam Webster defines the word restore as – to bring back to or put back into a former or original state. Synonyms include: remodel, renovate, and repair.

Often the process of restoration involves destruction. Sandy described the fun in wielding hammers and mauls to tear out old plaster and lath walls. This demolition exposed old electrical wiring and a heating/cooling system that needed updating. Sometimes restoring our souls can happen in much of the same way. The walls must come down that keep us from letting the good into our lives. As these barriers come down, the lies that need replacing with truth are exposed. This process can give us the freedom to be ourselves for the first time in our lives. Instead of walls and barriers, we need proper boundaries, with gates. Gates that let the good in and the bad out. What walls can you replace with good boundaries and a sturdy gate? An excellent resource and guide for building these sorts of boundaries is: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

Other times, the restoration of our souls requires a bit more patience, gentleness, and time. Perhaps a specific relationship in your life or particular vice or sin needs the undivided attention of you and Jesus. We do not live in a vacuum, and therefore, our efforts affect the lives of those we love. These changes require us to use the delicate tools of prayer and love to make small, lasting changes. Instead of hammers and mauls, we use tiny picks and brushes to remove the layers of paint and grime caught up in the intricate parts of our lives. Although time-consuming and tedious, the act of restoring love, acceptance, gratitude, and patience for ourselves and in our relationships is worth every ounce of our energy. Who in your life deserves this gift? You, your spouse, a parent, a friend, a child?

Finally, restoration can be exhausting. Life can be exhausting. Luckily, God built in a beautiful space for our souls to restore. It is called Sunday. God rested on the Sabbath, why don’t we? I know this is almost impossible to consider, but try spending some time this week rearranging your schedule to free up your Sunday. I will concede there is work that is required regardless of the day, but just be sure you are not creating the excuse, “I have to do this” when with a little creativity, the task can move to another day. Experience this extraordinary gift. Use Sunday to refill your tank for the week. Visit family and friends, spend some time enjoying the outdoors, read a book, or host a Sunday potluck dinner. Ignore the laundry, yard work, and cleaning. Go to church. Take a nap. Monday comes soon enough.

Whatever part of your soul needs restoring, Jesus is there waiting to begin the work. He is patient, meticulous, and eager to get started. His tools include promptings from the Holy Spirit, honest friends to accompany you on the journey, perhaps a therapist or spiritual director, Sacred Scripture, the grace available in the sacraments, and most importantly, His love. Do not hesitate to use them all to let your beauty and goodness shine. Be assured, this process is not a fresh coat of paint to clean things up. It is the old, made new.

A special thank you to Sandy for sharing her insights and experience in the restoration of their home. The gift of her time and words were invaluable.

The Story in the Storm

This is our moment of choice; will we take hold of Jesus’ outstretched hand?

It was a typical hot and humid summer day. We headed out on the boat for an evening of family fun, fishing. It was no small task preparing the boat, the gear, the snacks and the extra clothes for the toddlers. It was all worth it when our oldest catches the first fish! While we celebrate, the gentle breeze picks up its intensity, the beautiful blue sky darkens to the north, and lightning flashes in the distance. Soon it is joined by low rumbles of thunder. We conclude the storm is going north and proceed to enjoy our evening; we had put in so much effort, and the fishing was bountiful. Before long, we were proven wrong, and the storm was upon us. We felt the electricity in the air, and the river became rough. Panic set in. We rushed to secure the gear, situate the boys and get ourselves safely back to shore.

In the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 14 verse 24, Jesus is on the shore. Peter is in a boat with the other disciples, and they are in distress. Jesus, their teacher, their friend, their Messiah walks out on the water to rescue them. However, their first reaction to His help is fear. Peter demands proof. “If it is you, Lord, command me to come to you on the water.” Jesus complies and calls to Peter, “Come.” Imagine Peter, stepping out of the boat, trusting Jesus, and walking on water. Think of a time when Jesus has called you out of your boat, you trusted Him, and the reward was His smile! Maybe you followed His lead in a difficult conversation, took a new job requiring you to move across the country, or took the risk to share your conversion story with a room full of strangers. His smile of delight shines like the sun. It warms us to our very souls, makes us feel invincible; as if we could walk on water! These moments of great consolation, the times we know God’s love is real, are such gifts on our spiritual journey. Cherish these moments, write them on your heart. Praise God for allowing you to experience His real and Holy Presence.

When Peter caught a glimpse of the storm he panicked. My heart aches for Peter as he begins to sink; he desperately calls to Jesus, “Lord, save me!” How many times has this been me? Begging Jesus, maybe demanding Jesus to save me. What storms cause you to turn your head and take your eyes off Jesus? The death of a loved one, the loss of your job, marital discord or distance in a relationship with a friend? Whatever it is, doubt, fear, shame, or darkness start to set into our souls. We begin to feel inadequate, unworthy, or unloved. Thankfully, Peter’s story does not end there, and neither does ours.

What does Jesus do? Jesus immediately stretches out His hand and catches Peter. Jesus hasn’t taken His eyes off Peter, nor does He take his eyes off us. He’s waiting for us to turn our eyes back to Him so He can rescue us with His mercy and love. This is our moment of choice; will we take hold of Jesus’s outstretched hand? Will we turn to Him in prayer, in praise, in adoration? Will we replace our panic with prayer; choose to hope instead of despair? Follow our Faith instead of letting fear lead the way? Peter chooses to rely on Jesus and gets back into the boat. He is once again in His Holy Presence. It is from this place of safety, trust, and love that Jesus begins His real work with Peter.

After saving Peter, Jesus wants to talk about it. “Oh, you of little faith. Why did you doubt?” Jesus asks us the same question. “Why do you doubt?” We can ask the Holy Spirit to lead us through the storm and to provide us the wisdom, strength, and courage to press on. It’s also an opportunity to root out the temptation that causes us to take our eyes off Jesus. Perhaps, like me, a lack of trust allows you to think you’re in control. Maybe pride permits you to believe you are walking on water all by yourself. Whatever pulls your eyes off Jesus, take His hand, and follow Him to the sacraments for healing. We find His true and Holy Presence in the Eucharist and reconciliation, the grace we need to change our focus from the storm to Him. Through the sacraments, our faith will grow, our love of Him will grow, and our trust in Him will grow. He continues to write His story on our souls.

Storms will come. It’s up to us to choose to grab hold of Jesus’s hand or get swept up in the storm. Peter chose to take Jesus’s hand; will you?

This article was recently published in the magazine Catholic Life by the Diocese of La Crosse.

Running with the Rosary IV – Finding Answers

You are my beloved daughter.

Today is the final installment of this blog series on the Mysteries of the Holy Rosary, but I hope it is another step in your continued journey with Jesus. 

The Luminous Mysteries are my favorite. These are the events of the public ministry of Jesus. They begin with His baptism and pick up at the wedding at Cana. They then continue with the Proclamation of the Kingdom of God, His Transfiguration, and the Institution of the Eucharist. Why are these mysteries my favorite? Because they tell me who I am, how to live as a Christian, my mission as a baptized Catholic, and they remind me of who God is.

The baptism of Jesus, according to the gospel of Mark (1:10-11), tells that the heavens open up, and the Spirit descends like a dove onto Jesus. God, the Father, proclaims, “You are my beloved Son; with you, I am well pleased.” By nature of my baptism, I am an adopted daughter of God. He chooses me. Thus He says the same words to me, “This is my beloved daughter, with whom I am well pleased.” He gives me my identity as chosen, beloved, and precious. Sometimes in the day-to-day struggles, I can lose sight of this identity and get caught up in statements of scarcity (a.k.a. lies) that sound a lot like, “I’m not a good enough mom/wife/friend/etc.” What falsehoods can God speak His truth into for you? How can He help you remember who you are to Him?

When these lies settle in to my heart and steal my identity, He speaks the truth of abundance that He is the God that provides in every situation. I often try to set human limitations on God and His ability to provide for me. The wedding at Cana encounters a problem of scarcity – they have run out of wine. Jesus, at the request of His mother, changes six jars of water -filled to the brim – with the best wine known to the region. A friend challenged me to list how God fills my six jars. My six jars are filled with my family, my friends, the women of my faith group, the natural beauty of the world, and my relationship with Jesus. I only need to take the time to notice these gifts to see the depths of God’s love for me and to live in abundance. What fills your jars? Go ahead, make your list. Now for the challenge, are you spending your time, the best parts of you, with those jar-fillers?

The Proclamation of the Kingdom of God has been the hardest mystery for me to unravel. It seems to encompass all of Jesus’ ministry and teaching, thus not just a single event on which to focus. Over time, it has settled on what it means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, to live as a Christian. My mission! The Sermon on the Mount, the focus of chapters 5-7 in Matthew’s Gospel, provides an immense amount of inspiration for Christian living. Jesus challenges us with The Beatitudes, He instructs us how to pray and gives us The Our Father, and He teaches us how to treat others through the Golden Rule. Each of these asks us to give of ourselves. To show mercy, be patient, and share our love. To generously give of our time, talent, and treasure. To walk humbly with Him and those He places in our lives. Are you ready to accept your calling as a disciple of Jesus? 

At the transfiguration, Jesus reveals His glory. I try to imagine how beautiful He appeared and the warmth of His radiance on my face. The moment in which I catch an earthly glimpse of this experience is when the sun rises and shines on my face. It is then that I remember I am His and that He is God. When we can live clear in our identity, from a place of abundance, and know our mission in life, we will be changed! It affects the decisions we make, our responses to adversity, and our ability to see good in all of God’s creation. We can reflect His light, love, and mercy to the world. In short, we reflect His glory! Are you ready to be transformed? What do you need to allow Jesus to change in you so you can glorify Him?

The Eucharist is how I stay connected to Christ, an opportunity to remind myself of the depths of His love for me. There is no substitute for this intimate union with Jesus during the celebration of the Mass. The reception of His body, blood, soul, and divinity. He knew we would need Him. Therefore, Jesus continues to humble Himself so He can walk with us. Every day, in every church, He is waiting for us to come to Him. Although Sunday Mass attendance is an “obligation” for Catholics, I have realized it is a gift to spend time with the one who loves me. There is no obligation necessary when love drives us to be together. This week when you go to Mass, receive His love and give Him your heart.

As the Father loves me,

so I also love you.

Remain in my love.

John 15:9

After running a few hundred miles, praying more than a hundred rosaries, and writing more than a thousand words; the words that speak to my soul, “You are my beloved daughter.” I only need to live these five words, and the rest will fall into place. 

You do not need to join me running, but will you allow Mary to show you how her Son loves you? Or will Jesus use this as an opportunity to introduce you to His mom? Either way, there is so much to be gained in meditating on the Mysteries of the Holy Rosary. I will be praying for you!

Running with the Rosary III – Gaining Perspective

In every instance, He kept His word.

Love and joy are two beautiful gifts that we not only receive, but can freely give to those we encounter each day. Have you been able to receive and give love and joy? Perhaps a little perspective will help us offer and accept these gifts more readily.

The Glorious Mysteries give us reason to celebrate! The resurrection of Jesus, His ascension into Heaven, the descent of the Holy Spirit, the assumption of Mary into Heaven, and the crowning of Mary as Queen of Heaven are some pretty spectacular moments in our Catholic faith. These mysteries give me a sense of excitement and perspective. Prayed on Wednesday and Sunday, these events help us remember that the crucifixion isn’t the end of the story.

The resurrection of Jesus is the epitome of gaining the perspective. We can all get lost in the darkness and sadness of our lives. Health concerns, kids in trouble, work challenges; it can feel all-consuming. Even the apostles, who despite, the time they spent with Jesus, doubted His promise to rise again. They got lost in the sadness of His death. Yet, in the quiet of that Sunday morning, He makes good on His promise. He left behind sin and death to breathe life into the world. His resurrection reminds us that the difficult times in our lives are temporary. That goodness and glory await us on the other side of the sadness. His resurrection turns darkness into light and sorrow into joy. As you meditate on this mystery, consider how Jesus and Mary can help you to change your despair into hope.

Upon His ascension into Heaven, Jesus is making good on the promise to prepare a dwelling place for us in His Father’s house. (see John 14: 2-3). Our eternal reward is in Heaven, so we need to ask some questions to keep our lives in perspective. What matters in Heaven? Am I living in such a way that emphasizes what is important in Heaven? Am I giving to those in need or earning more for myself? Do I love all those who Jesus puts in my life? Or am I stepping over them to have the “right” friends? Finally, am I praying in praise and thanksgiving for all I have, or do I take the gifts for granted and think I deserve them? Our lives on Earth are quite finite; our afterlife is an eternity. Do you want to spend your time on this Earth seeking its passing treasures or collecting treasure in Heaven?

As promised, Jesus sends us the Holy Spirit! Our advocate and guide. In Galatians 5:22, St. Paul tells us the fruits of the Holy Spirit are “…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” What if these fruits were the lens from which we viewed the world, our neighbors, our family, and ourselves? Choosing to shift our perspective in such a manner can change every interaction we have in a day. Do you take the time to listen for the Holy Spirit to help you see how you can make a difference using the gifts and fruits bestowed upon you?

The final two mysteries bring us to Mary. From the cross, Jesus gives us His mother, “Woman, behold your son.” Then he said to his disciple, “Behold, your mother.” (John 19:26-27) Some of us have lost our earthly mother or perhaps never developed a close relationship with her. However, we have Mary, the Queen of Heaven! We are never without a loving mother. When you think of Mary, what traits come to mind? In my heart, Mary is gentle, holy, quick to forgive, patient, reflective, faithful, open to possibility, and trusting of God. If we take the opportunity to learn these traits from our Heavenly Mother, how might they change how we view ourselves, speak to our children and spouse, or relate to God? We are NEVER too old to need gentle encouragement, holy advice, or motherly love. St. Teresa of Calcutta (Mother Teresa) offers us a simple prayer to speak in those times of need, “Mary, Mother of Jesus, please be a mother to me now.”

The perspective I gained from these mysteries – Jesus is a promise keeper. In every instance, He kept His word. Jesus rose, ascended, sent us an advocate, and gave us His mother – just as promised. How does knowing He is a God of His word change your perspective of Him?

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me.”

John 14:1

Running with the Rosary II – Discovering Love

Breathe and try to imagine the amount of love it takes to lay down your life for the sins of others.

Were you able to find the time to pray the Joyful Mysteries? What moments did God use to bring joy into your life? Keep praying for Jesus to open your heart and eyes to the joy that surrounds you. This week I invite you to pray the Sorrowful Mysteries with me.

On Tuesday and Friday, we walk through the Passion of Jesus. Bead by bead. We are witnesses to His agony in the garden and the scourging at the pillar. We remember the crowning with thorns and the weight of His cross. We pause in silence at His crucifixion. Take a few moments to take all of that into your soul. Breathe and try to imagine the amount of love it takes to lay down your life for the sins of others. As humans, it may be nearly impossible to fathom that kind of love, but that is what we are to nurture in our lives.  

We first encounter Jesus in the garden. He is in prayer, asking the Father to let this cup pass over him. Yet, in the next breath, he surrenders to the will of God. Is this how we pray? Do we ask God for what our heart desires and then, with great trust, acknowledge He loves us and that He will provide? I know, at times, my prayer sounds more like a frenzied litany of demands and bargain-making ideas. Peace only comes when I remember that I am not in control, that He knows the depths of my heart, and that in His great love, He will answer me. What difficulty can you surrender to God today?

The scourging at the pillar and crowning with thorns elicit strong emotions of sadness at the amount of suffering Christ endured. He withstood physical torture and emotional abuse. Each of us has suffered, and since Earth is not Heaven, potentially more is in store for us. It is hard to explain suffering and even harder to understand it, and I’m not sure there are any easy answers. Through His Passion, He suffered,  He lived the whole human experience. So when it seems pointless or too much, turn to Jesus to find love and strength. The band, Casting Crowns, has a beautiful song about the love of Jesus meeting us in our struggles. Take a listen. When did His Love Move First for you?  

After all He endured at the hands of the Roman soldiers, He picked up His cross. I can barely imagine the strength it took to move, much less carry the weight of the cross. Along the way, He falls not once, not twice, but three times. Each time He gets back up. During that long walk, He receives love from Veronica when she gently wipes His face. Simon carried the cross for Him. Friends, we are never meant to carry our burdens alone. Seek help. Talk to a friend, find a therapist, and let Jesus love and help you. Do not think for one second you have to take the long journey alone. 

These mysteries end with the ultimate act of love; the giving of oneself for another. In Jesus’s case, for the world. Specifically, He died for our sins to reconcile us back to God. What sin do you need to bring to the foot of the cross and let Jesus’s love heal? Always the teacher, Jesus’s words from the cross continue to challenge us today, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.”(Luke 24:34) Who is Jesus asking you to forgive? Who can you love more fully?

My Jesus, out of love for me…

You surrendered.

You suffered.

You endured.

You humbled yourself.

You forgave those who persecuted you.

You died.

You saved me.

These mysteries have been the most transformative for me over the last 90+ days. They have taught me humility and the peace of surrendering to the will of God. These mysteries have encouraged me to seek help in carrying the burden of my cross. Finally, they have shown me the depths of His love for me. In short, they have taught me about love. What might Jesus want to share with you this week? What can you do out of love for Jesus?

In this crazy world, take a little more time this week to love God, your family, your neighbors, and yourself. Let the Sorrowful Mysteries help you discover the love God has for you and all that His love can heal inside you.

Running with the Rosary

What could God do with your yes?

The season of Lent calls us to fast, pray, and give alms to prepare our hearts. This year I committed to praying a daily rosary to enhance my prayer life. Some of you reading may be thinking this is no big deal. However, for me, the rosary felt like an outdated, routine prayer that wasn’t very inspiring. Therefore, it was with some indifference that I began this part of my Lenten journey. About this same time, I was able to return to running, so I incorporated the rosary into my daily run. At first, I used a podcast to guide the prayer, but before long the events of Christ’s life unfolded into a beautiful story. I no longer needed someone else to lead the journey. 

As we are all well aware, the coronavirus pandemic swept in during Lent and hung with us right through the Easter season. Suddenly finding myself with much more time on my hands, I continued to pray my daily rosary through the Easter season. Another 50 days meditating on Jesus’ life through Mary’s eyes.

As I reflect on the time spent running and praying, I wanted to share the encouragement and love in each of the mysteries of the rosary. Today’s blog is the start of a series.  This week, we will start at the beginning with the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary.

Joyful

The Joyful Mysteries prayed on Monday and Saturday each week, begin with the annunciation to Mary and her yes, her fiat, to God. These mysteries walk us through the early life of Jesus. His first encounter with John the Baptist when Mary visits her cousin Elizabeth, His birth, His presentation at the temple, and finding Him in the temple. 

When Mary visits her cousin Elizabeth, and baby John the Baptist leaps in Elizabeth’s womb- that is joy! Do we leap for joy when we encounter the Lord? Do we seek to visit and support our family, friends, and neighbors? How can we bring the joy of Christ to those we meet?

Many mothers reading this will certainly remember in great detail the arrival of their child(ren). Regardless of how grueling the birth was, the joy that filled your heart when you first laid eyes on this treasure is almost impossible to put into words. Every time I meditate on the birth of Jesus, I am reminded of the gift each of my sons has been to me. How they have made me a better person by challenging me to be more patient, more loving, and more generous. Certainly, there are times we all consider if returning these “gifts” is an option, but fortunately, love wins.

It is in challenging times when we most question our roles as mothers and our ability to parent. When presenting Jesus at the temple the prophet Simeon told Mary, “…and a sword will pierce your own soul too.” (Luke 2:35) When our children suffer, we suffer. Through all of Jesus’ life, Mary was there to be mother, witness, disciple. Mary’s strength was forged through her deep trust in God. What can you entrust to God today?

How about the overwhelming joy that fills the heart of the mother that has lost her child in Target (you know…when they are “hiding” in the clothes rack)? It is a great consolation to know even Jesus gave Mary a hard time once in a while. 

The Joyful Mysteries, and all the other mysteries of the rosary, are dependent on Mary’s yes at the annunciation. Her fiat allows Jesus to come into our broken world, work miracles, and reconcile us to God. What could God do with your yes?

In case you need a little help getting started, this is a nice resource from Dynamic Catholic on how to pray the rosary. 

The Laudate App has many options to lead you in the rosary and can be found in the Apple App Store for iPhones or Google Play for Androids.

These mysteries have taught me that joy is found in everyday moments and in spectacular moments of life. Maybe you don’t want to join in the running part of this journey, but I do encourage you to join me today in praying the Joyful Mysteries! See what joy is revealed to you. 

Next up?  The Sorrowful Mysteries. Meanwhile, look to find joy in the ordinary. Savor that joy!

Graduation 2020

My goal is to find that delicate balance of setting him free, but keeping a soft place for landing when he needs a safe haven.

It seems like such a simple object. Many homes have them this time of year; they come in an array of colors and yet they are all the same. It just hangs there, in its 100% polyester glory, reminding me not to dry clean it or place it in the dryer. And yet, it is so wrinkled from its packaging. Can I iron it? What if I ruin it? And that is when it hits. My eyes overflow with tears that gently roll off my cheeks onto my son’s graduation gown. 

No one ever told me this over-priced piece of fabric would contain such an enormous amount of emotion. I’ll admit, I might not have been listening!

This gown represents first and foremost, an end and a beginning. It’s the end of his high school career, cheering him on at Friday night football games, packing his lunch, seeing him off to school each morning, and welcoming him home each night after practice. All of these moments I will miss, but with wisdom from Jesus’ mother, Mary, I have kept all these things, reflecting on them in my heart (Luke 2:19). When one stage in our lives comes to an end, another always begins. The doors that are opening for him stir great excitement and hope in my heart. It is just the beginning of his journey in this world. The Doctor Seuss book, Oh the Places You’ll Go comes to mind and summarizes this beginning quite well.

“You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, So… get on your way!” 

Dr. Seuss – Oh the Places You’ll Go

Pride. So much pride in his commitment to his academics, athletics, and clubs. His pursuit of knowledge and personal growth has truly been amazing over his past four years of high school. However, my greatest pride lies in seeing the man he has become. His compassion, kindness, and confidence assure me he will be strong in who he is as he enters into the world that awaits him. His self-accountability and self-determination ease my mind in regards to his academic future at the university. He is well prepared for the journey ahead.

Many of these tears running onto his gown are of pure and simple joy. Yes, it’s true, I cry when I’m sad. However, joy pierces my heart even deeper, thus letting it spill out into tears. This joy outshines every other emotion. It keeps the sadness over the “lasts” in perspective and allows me to celebrate the gift of today. Joy also ushers in the gratitude that humbles my heart. This gratitude is in the recognition that raising this boy into a man took many dedicated teachers, faithful friends, and a supportive family. This joy is the gift of my faith. The crucifixion wasn’t the end; it was a new beginning expressed in the Easter joy of the resurrection. 

So much is changing for all of us. The little boy who sat on my lap every day at nap time to hear his favorite book is now a grown man. In some ways, my work is done. It is his turn to take on the world, explore, and find his way. On the other hand, my work is just beginning. The opportunities to guide will be fewer, but more important. My goal is to find that delicate balance of setting him free, but keeping a soft place for landing when he needs a safe haven. Thousands of parents before me have accepted this challenge, and now, so do I. 
The wrinkles are out and my tears have dried. As we head out the door, I’m reminded of the words of the prophet Jeremiah that have carried me through so many times of change and I am at peace.

“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, declares the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for woe, to give you a future of hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

Out of the Past, Back from the Future, Here in the Present

Won’t you take the step with me? Take the step out of your past, back from your future, into your present and trust the one who loved you first.

The 1985 movie Back to the Future is a cultural phenomenon to many people. One of the best quotes is uttered by Marty: “Wait A Minute, Doc. Are you telling me you built a time machine?” Picture his enthusiasm, his unbelief! I was right there with him. Oh, the places I would go. It was easy to get caught up in Marty’s valiant efforts to ensure his parents were married, thus securing his own existence. As I watched this play out, I was dreaming of my own time machine! How quickly Marty (and my older self) realizes the trap of trying to change the past while not affecting the present day and the stress of knowing too much about the future.  And yet we are caught in the same trap: trying to redo our past and control our future. All the while missing out on the gift of the present moment in front of us.

Out of the Past

So much of our life can be spent obsessing about the past: past sins, past experiences, past relationships, and past hurts. However, sitting in our history and letting it hold us hostage is not living. What part of your story are you carrying with you today? Is it the shame over a sin that you’ve allowed to define you? Has someone hurt you and you haven’t granted them forgiveness? My friend, we cannot store our past in sealed boxes, buried in our hearts. These boxes take up the room Jesus wants to occupy. Hold my hand in prayer and let’s take these hurts, sins, and experiences to Jesus. Take the lids off and empty those boxes. Some of these boxes can find healing by working with a therapist or conversations with a trusted friend. However, the confessional is a great place to take many of the boxes. There is no sin too great for God’s mercy and love. Mercy, forgiveness, and healing are real, possible, and available to you. In this beautiful sacrament Jesus meets us where we are at, looks on us with his loving eyes, and gently takes our burdens. Take that step. Jesus is waiting. 

Back from the Future

On the other hand, the worry many of us have over the future can be paralyzing, also preventing us from living. Fretting about our health, our kids, our jobs, or our finances doesn’t change any of the potential outcomes; it only exhausts our radiant souls. For me, I experience this level of worry as plate spinning. Trying to keep my finger on every aspect of every family member’s life.  Other words that may hit home: micromanaging, helicopter parenting, trying to keep all the balls in the air, and restless nights spent trying to anticipate every possible scenario at work. Exhausting, right? So what are we to do? 

St. Padre Pio offers some excellent direction, “Pray, hope, and don’t worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.”

Surrendering our trust to the Lord is not easy and takes time. God is there for us, we are never alone, but we have to learn to turn to Him and build a relationship with Him. It is impossible to trust someone we don’t know. How do we build this relationship? We spend precious time with our Lord and Savior. This may include increasing our daily time commitment to prayer, attending Mass an extra day during the week, praying the Litany of Trust, sitting before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, listening to worship music, or reading Sacred Scripture. The most important act is to take that step. Jesus is waiting.

Here in the Present

Where does that leave us? It leaves us right where Jesus wants us; in the present. Living only occurs in the present. The moment at hand or the person in front of you, that is all we can truly influence. How do we influence the present? As Christian women our power to influence the here and now is with our love. A love that is deeply rooted in Jesus Christ. How we react to the interruptions from our children, how we respond to the request for help from our aging parents, and how we embrace the vulnerability of a friend expressing her shame are all opportunities to be like Christ and share His love. Over and over in the gospels we witness Jesus’s beautiful, merciful love in how he receives the sick, the possessed, the broken, the lost, and the sinner. Let us strive to love like Jesus.

How can we love more like Jesus? Let us begin with ourselves. Granting ourselves patience, gentleness, and kindness in our journey to salvation. Letting go of our fear of failure, our self-loathing, our anger, and our hurt. Take a moment to pause right now and live in the truth that we are daughters of a loving and merciful God. I’m serious, right now, close your eyes and take 20 minutes to embrace this truth. 

We are created in His image, made for goodness, and more precious to Him than any gem. From this place of truth comes our worth, our knowledge that we are enough, and our joy. Speaking from experience, this is the toughest and yet most treasured gift you can grant yourself. If you’re having trouble hearing God’s voice; seek out a trusted friend who can speak these words of truth or a spiritual director who can guide you to this truth. Take the step, live in the truth. Jesus is waiting.

When we abide from this place of truth; the Holy Spirit is able to make His fruits bountiful in our lives. Patience for our interrupting children, kindness for our aging parents, gentleness for our shame-burdened friend, faithfulness to our vocation in life, joy in our salvation, peace in God’s providence, and charity for our cranky neighbor.  Each of these gifts are to be used to spread Christ’s love and there is no better time than right now to add more love to the world.

Taking the step to allow Jesus to heal our past through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, the daily step of surrendering our worry about the future to God’s providence, and the step to live in God’s truth; can be scary and difficult. Fear not! We are trusting our hearts, our very lives, to the one who chose us to be His. 

Won’t you take the step with me? Take the step out of your past, back from your future, into your present, and trust the one who loved you first.

St. Therese of Lisieux’s reflection offers us further encouragement, “If I did not simply live from one moment to another, it would be impossible for me to be patient, but I only look at the present, I forget the past, and I take good care not to forestall the future.” 

Take the step. Jesus is waiting.

This blog first appeared on Blessed is She .