The Freedom Found in Surrendering

Knock-knock jokes. They are numerous, and I love it when a child delights in telling me one. Recently, one of them has been playing on a loop in my head, kind of like when a song becomes an earworm. The Interrupting Cow. I apologize if it gets stuck in your head – or maybe not – I will get to that later. Just in case you are unfamiliar with the joke, here is an enthusiastic version of it: Interrupting Cow Joke, remember I warned you. If we look at our day-to-day lives, how many times does the interrupting cow make an appearance? For instance, a vacation taken off course by a flat tire, a date night kiboshed by a sick child, a last-minute call from work needing you to stay late, the umpteenth request for help from your kiddo while you’re making dinner. All of these situations, and more, can bring the best of us to a level of frustration and anxiety that allows the interrupting cow to ruin the day.

I am a big fan of to-do lists, schedules, and structure. I freely admit I am intolerant of interruptions and last-minute changes to my day, and yet, as a wife and mother, my day is full of interruptions. Add in text messages, phone calls, email requests, unscheduled visits, and I start to spiral! I begin to plate-spin, trying to stick to my schedule and striving to accomplish more. I fall prey to letting what I “do” define me, and I lose track of the fact that those “interruptions” are people I love and worthy of my time and attention. Around the time the Knock-Knock Joke started bugging me, I noticed how often my day was not going according to my plan. More noticeable was the way I was responding to these hiccups. I was feeling tired, angry, unproductive, and anxious about all the unfinished projects piling up.

Coincidently, my prayer was experiencing much of the same. My ability to rest in Jesus, receive His goodness, and surrender to His will was at battle with the distractions of my to-do list, worries and fears, and stirrings of not doing enough. If I am honest, I was welcoming the distractions, inviting them in, because they kept me from taking a good look at myself through His eyes. These types of intrusions are the true interrupting cow, and that is how I began to deal with them. When a to-do list item interrupts, I say, “Yup, that is important, but not now.” If panic about getting it all done finds its way into the moment, I turn my heart back to His love and ask Him to help me find a way. Finally, when the loudest one of all, “I am not doing enough,” budges its way in, I ask Jesus to help me to be with Him and know it He who defines me. Addressing these roadblocks has helped me return my focus to Him and has allowed Jesus to open my heart to the act of surrendering control. Are there distractions in your heart that are getting in Jesus’s way?

As I cleared the distractions, I could see the changes that He was calling me to make. First and foremost, I needed to start including Him in my plans. I had to begin with seeking His help in identifying what matters most and matters least when scheduling my day. Next, I needed to focus less on doing and more on being. Being present to my boys, my husband, my friends, and all those other lovely people God places in my life. It is an opportunity for me to surrender my plans to His wisdom. To began trusting that I would accomplish all that needed to happen and being aware it would not be at the cost of missing the opportunity to be with Him and those He places in my day. In a recent email from Blessed is She, the author mentioned the words Jesus spoke before his Passion, “Rise, let us be on our way” (John 14:31). Jesus’s words stirred a deep sense of release and a desire to walk with Him. These days I choose to end my prayer time with His words. Confident that He is with me, and He will lead the way.

This approach has provided me greater freedom to enjoy an extended conversation with a friend or stranger. It has allowed me to find the beauty in an entire day turned upside down by an unexpected road trip for our family business. I am also more readily able to recognize the opportunities for growth and potential gifts each interruption to my day will hold. Earlier this year, I read a quote by Pope Saint John Paul II that, at the time, set my mind spinning. During his papacy, a reporter asked him, “Holy Father, what do you do in your free time?” He replied, “All my time is free.” How is that possible? He was the head of the Catholic Church; how could all of his time be free? Slowly and gently (and sometimes in funny ways), the Lord is showing me how to find this freedom. More and more of my time is free because I am putting Him at the center, letting Him take the lead, and surrendering my control. This process has been far from perfect, I still get tripped up by frustration and anger, but I’m getting better at recognizing it and making adjustments. What can you surrender to experience more freedom?

Now, back to my half-hearted apology. I hope that when you hear the “MOO” in the form of an unexpected knock at the door, the unplanned detour in your journey, or your child has asked for your help for the hundredth time, you will remember that it may be Jesus knocking, correcting your path, or asking you for help. Perhaps like me, you will chuckle thinking of the cow at the door; and decide to trust His plan and surrender your control. More importantly, I pray you will answer His call, rise, and together, be on your way.