Don’t Fear the Weeds

Spring has arrived! My windows are open, the lilacs are blooming, and the sun is warm on my face. As the yard comes to life, memories of watching the twin fawns race carefree through the neighborhood and the return of the sweet song of the orioles flood my mind. It is also time to turn the garden soil, pull the weeds, and sow my new seeds and plants. My Adoration partner joyously celebrates my love of gardening. A few weeks ago, her parting words were, “Linda, I suppose you have spent some time working in your yard and garden. Wonderful. Just don’t let the weeds – if they happen to appear – scare you!” Typically, I would have chuckled at her comment and moved on with my day. However, earlier in the week, the concept of weeds had come up during my morning prayer time. Her words struck a deeper chord in my heart.

Weeds. Those of us with yards, vegetable gardens, or flowerbeds know the hassle these unwanted guests create in our space. Often, they require special tools. Burning Nettle or Thistles? You better grab gloves. Crab Grass? Bring the garden claw and loads of patience. Dandelions? Fetch that handy taproot pulling tool. Why all the tools? Because if we do not pull them out by their roots, they will come back stronger and sometimes spread! Even with our best physical efforts to rid our landscape of these freeloaders, we can be unsuccessful and need to call in the big guns – weed killer.

Exponentially more problematic than the weeds in our yards are those in our hearts. These weeds are equally as fast-growing, deeply rooted, and can quickly overtake the beautiful landscape of our soul. Resentment, anger, impatience, greed, coarse language, gossip, judgment, criticism, the use of alcohol to numb, and pride are prime examples of weeds that can invade our interior garden. These offenses can quickly hide the person God created us to be, damage our relationship with Him, and hurt those we love. We should not ignore them. In the past, I have admitted my struggles with many of these issues. God has provided His grace through the “tools” of friendship, prayer, and frequent reception of the Sacraments of Holy Communion and Reconciliation to help me make headway. However, some of the weeds in our souls are products of our experiences or past relationships.

One such weed is what God addressed during prayer – a deeply rooted weed. The Voice of Shame that still calls me out. The lies it tries to sow in the precious space of my soul always take on some version of, “Who do you think you are?” Or, another favorite, “You will never be good enough.” It is an equal opportunity liar attacking my parenting, my ability to contribute meaningfully to projects, my goodness, my worth, my vocation as a wife; the list is endless. This particular invasion requires a powerful tool to eradicate it. Truth.

Truth. It is a bit tricky for me to discern. The Voice of Shame sounds a lot like truth because it starts there, but then the lies run wild, twisting themselves around the truth, choking it out. Even worse, if you have been listening to it for a long time, it can become your truth. My past attempts to refute the lies told by this insidious voice have fallen short. I am not very good at thinking on my feet. By the time I have figured out a response, it has already moved on to a different front of attack. I am blessed to have friends and family who speak to my goodness and the ability to find truth in Sacred Scripture. As beautiful and powerful as these gifts are to me, they sometimes cannot rip the weed of lies out of my heart. Why not? Fear.

I have feared this weed. My repeated failures to win at the war of words have made me skeptical that I can beat it at its game. Its relentless nature has me doubting if I can outrun it. At times, its sneaky methods have me fearful it is the voice of truth. I have spent the better part of a year finding the source of the voice that has sown these seeds of fear, self-doubt, and shame. Its roots are deep, and digging around them has been both painful and enlightening. However, the time has come to rip it out. The Voice of Shame has taken enough of my heart, enough of my peace, and enough of my identity. Enough!

To do this, I need to claim the truth, use my voice to speak the truth, and live the truth. Christ has already spoken these truths to me; He is the one who defines me. These are the truths I must speak to the lies:

These are my truths. They are your truths as well. Can you speak them, claim them, and live them? I can hear you already, “Yeah, but if you only knew…” That, my friend, is the Voice of Shame. We all have past mistakes, current struggles with various vices, and are guaranteed to experience failure in the future, but those moments do not define us. They are weeds, and we have the tools to deal with them.

Join me this spring, and do not fear the weeds. Take the time to dig around them, get to the root, and pull them out. It is a journey worth embarking on because there is beauty waiting to be shared – you! You and your relationships are worth the effort. The beautiful garden of your soul is worth the time. Do not let the Voice of Shame or any other lie hold you back from the freedom that awaits you. Spring is the season of new life and beginnings. Perhaps this spring, He plans new life for you.