A Walk in the Garden

I love this time of year. The leaves changing colors and the cooling temperatures bring me a sense of peace. While on a walk the other day, the evening breeze cooled my cheeks and rustled the fallen leaves at my feet. It reminded me of a short passage from Genesis 3:8 in which Adam and Eve hear God walking in the garden at the breezy time of the day (the evening). This image sparked a myriad of questions in my mind. Did He often walk in the garden, and did Adam and Eve usually join Him? Did they share their day with God, and did he share his with them? The opportunity to have such a close friendship with God captures my heart and fills it with joy. So, why do Adam and Eve hide from God as he approaches? They hide because they believed the lies of the serpent and have sinned; they chose to turn away from God and his love. However, like any good father, God doesn’t just give up and walk away; He has some questions.

God asks Adam, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:8) Then He asks, “Who told you that you were naked?” (Genesis 3:9) The gig is up, Adam knows, that God knows, they ate from the one tree they were forbidden to eat. Those two questions have been circling in my head. However, in my prayer, God puts a little bit of a spin on them. He asks, “Who told you that you weren’t good enough? Who told you that you weren’t worthy?” The gig is up — He knows I’ve been listening to lies. In his infinite patience, He waits for me to answer. In the meantime, He gently reminds me that it wasn’t Him who told me those lies. 

So, who tells me those lies? The sources of these untruths are innumerable. At times, my own voice can be the one I hear saying I will never be a good enough mom, wife, or friend. There is even some doubt I will ever be good enough for God to love me because of my faults. The voice that speaks those lies can drown out God’s voice of love, truth, and mercy. It is a constant battle for me to discern truth from lies. Admittedly, I get easily discouraged and lose hope that I’ll ever win the war. Hopelessness is the perfect condition for the lies to grow, multiply, and take hold. What lies do you hear? Who is speaking those lies to you?

Sometimes, we receive a wake-up call of sorts. We hear those same lies voiced by someone we love. Maybe your spouse is discouraged with their career path, or your daughter feels like her dreams won’t happen because she is not enough, or a friend is struggling with her resilience in dealing with a habitual sin. Whatever the situation, it is painful to hear someone you love think so little of themselves. I imagine that is how God feels every time I believe the lies about me over His truth. Perhaps we all know someone for whom we can speak God’s love, mercy, and truth to when they are feeling unworthy, afraid, alone, discouraged, or wounded. I will be that voice for my sons, my husband, my family, and my friends. Will you be that voice of truth for someone you love? Will you listen to the voices of truth in your life?

“Truly, the LORD

is waiting to be

gracious to you, truly,

he shall rise

to show you mercy.”

Isaiah 30:18

When I fall into hopelessness or begin to doubt I will ever overcome my failings, I can be like Adam and Eve and try to hide from God. I’m falling for the lie that God’s mercy and love are not for me. I am afraid to share the broken parts of me for fear of losing His love, being unworthy of His love, or not doing enough to earn His love. I have forgotten that God already knows all of me. Psalm 139: 1-3 states, “O Lord, you have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away. You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.” And just in case I have any remaining doubts about His willingness to be merciful, Isaiah 30:18 reminds me, “Truly, the LORD is waiting to be gracious to you, truly, he shall rise to show you mercy.” When I have mustered the courage to come out of hiding, I have found peace, encouragement, and mercy. He delights in all of me, desires to speak His truth to me, and to heal me through the sacrament of reconciliation and prayer.

We need to come out of hiding, but how? For me, that means I am going to choose hope for myself and those I love. It means actively choosing to love, unconditionally, the people God has placed in my life and to receive their love. Finally, it means seeking and accepting the love and mercy that God offers me in His sacraments. I deserve nothing less, and neither do you! I am going to freely walk with God, in the garden, during the breezy time of the day. I’m going to deepen my friendship with Him. Will you join me?